The Economy

We all keep hearing about bailouts and who should and shouldn't get bailout money.
But here is what keeps me up at night:  All the while these companies whose poor planning has left them with their hands out begging so they can continue to profit - many (maybe all) the cities and towns across the country are struggling with major budget cuts and therefore cutting funds to emergency, fire, police and even schools - the places where money is needed most.  I realize that when a big company goes tumbling, the ripple effect causes others to crumble, and lots of unemployment.  But why are we even considering bailing out companies who made their own beds with greedy hands - when areas where money was already too tight to begin with are being told to cut more??
Without adequate firefighters and emergency responders, your home will burn and you won't make it to the ER in a timely manner when the heart attack hits.
Without adequate police - there will be even more crime.
Without adequate school budgets - our already behind-the-global-grade schools are going to fail even more.
Where is the logic in all of this?  Why has "the fall of Rome" been echoing in my head for weeks now?

Leaf

~by Kathy Ayres
Yesterday you provided shade when the sun scorched
and oxygen to the depleted atmosphere.
Today you blaze in fiery glory
turning reality into an artist's canvas.
Tomorrow you will feed the soil
which will, in time, give you life once more.

The Dream

~by Kathy Ayres
Sophia awoke herself by screaming-out from a frightful dream. She sat bolt upright and found herself gasping and in a cold sweat. It was the same dream again. She was a young girl, maybe 15 or 16 and being chased; she was running for her life. Just as she reached the gate, someone grabbed a fistful of her hair from behind, pulling with all of their might, causing her to fall. She screamed and awakened.
Although the bed was warm and cozy and she knew the hardwood would be cold, she had to get some water. Sophia’s mouth was as dry as cotton! She sighed and got out of bed to head to the kitchen. Every time she had the dream, she always awakened with such a dry mouth, she would swear she’d really been running.
The dream was always so real when it came. But who was chasing her and why? Why would she be running to a creepy graveyard at dusk anyway? But somehow she knew that beyond that graveyard, there was safety.
As she drank the water, she pondered what might trigger this dream over and over. Is it something she eats? Is it stress? She tried to remember how old she was the first time it came, but the dream has always been with her – for more than 27 years now. Sometimes there will be months between and sometimes only days. Nevertheless, it always left her feeling odd afterwards. She somehow knew it was more than just a dream. It felt as if it was a memory just beyond her grasp, like a word on the tip of her tongue that she never seemed to find.
She padded back to bed and struggled to go back to sleep to no avail. Every time she closed her eyes, she’d see that fence with the gaping hole triggering the fear of what she knew happened next making her heart race and keeping her sleep at bay.
At 6:00 AM, the alarm blared. Rather than doing the snooze alarm tango as she usually did, she went ahead and got up since she was awake anyway. Maybe a long, hot shower would wash away the fatigue. It didn’t. But, she laughed to herself with the thought that at least she wouldn't smell like she’d been running all night. She dried and styled her hair and did the best magic she could with her make-up, taking extra care to cover-up the strawberry birthmark on her temple, to make herself appear as refreshed as possible.
When she walked into her office, her co-worker and best friend since kindergarten, Ivy, took one look at her and said,
“Wow! I hope the reason you look so tired is because you had a great date last night.” Ivy knew Sophia better than that but always had a silly sense of humor. Sophia sighed in response,
“It was the dream again.”
“Again?!?” exclaimed Ivy. Ivy and Sophia had many sleepovers throughout the years. Ivy had seen the results of that dream many times. “Girl, what do you eat before you go to bed?”
Sophia just shook her head and gave a small smile. The smile was really because she was thankful she had Ivy in her life.
She and Ivy met on the first day of kindergarten, yet felt as if they’d known each other forever. For them, it seemed more like a reunion rather than an introduction. They soon learned they shared the same birthday and even resembled one another enough that they were often mistaken for sisters. Many times, they’d absentmindedly finish one another’s sentences. There were also regular occurrences of clairvoyance with one another. As young children, they didn’t realize how unique this was, but the adults around them were continually surprised by the many ironic events that happened only between the pair.
As Sophia filled her coffee cup, she reminisced about their long, close friendship and was happy they were able to remain close even in their professional lives. She couldn’t imagine life without Ivy. She filled another cup, added cream and carried it with her. As she made her way back past Ivy, she sat the extra cup of coffee on Ivy’s desk, just as Ivy was swallowing the last drop from her own cup.
“Just the way you like it.” Sophia stated as a matter-of-fact. Ivy smiled and thanked her as Sophia proceeded to her own desk to settle-in for what she knew was going to be a long, tiring day of boring meetings.
By noon, she wondered if the day would ever end. Still in a meeting, lunch was boxed sandwiches, catered by the corner deli. Sophia and Ivy worked for a large insurance company and their jobs were to secure accounts with other companies. As the lunch meeting started, the Director started the power point presentation on the next company. The first slide showed the next company of interest: Willow Pharmaceuticals. The slide was a picture of their logo which was a beautiful willow tree next to a pond with the setting sun at the horizon. Suddenly, Sophia had an odd feeling wash over her. It felt as if the blood was draining from her face and she felt light-headed. The room began to move around her as if on a merry-go-round. Or was it a train? There was a dark tunnel closing in around her. Everything faded to black.

Her name was Nadya. She was 14. She was traveling in a wagon with her family. They were Romani and fleeing the gypsy round-up. The year was 1938. They were headed to a church in France where they’d heard they could take sanctuary. They had traveled many miles over many days and were almost there. Their mood was lifting as they got closer. However, Nadya’s grandmother was very sick. They made camp for the night in a dark thick of trees below a small cliff which was situated just beyond a graveyard. Her grandmother was suffering from crippling pain and kept telling the family to leave her behind for fear she would cause them to get caught. Nadya couldn’t bear the thought of leaving her grandmother behind. They had always shared such a special bond. Nadya decided that while her mother and father were setting up camp, that she would go in search of some white willow bark and feverfew to brew a tea for her grandmother’s pain. She thought she had remembered seeing both not far form the camp. Her mother argued with her – telling her she wasn’t going beyond the camp. But she argued back that grandmother was suffering and she told her it wasn’t far from the graveyard. Eventually, her papa ended the argument by saying, “be back before dark.” That didn’t give her much time, as it was very late in the day. She kissed her papa on the cheek and then turned to her mother and assured her she would stay in the shadows. She left the camp and headed out of the graveyard, through a gap in an old, broken fence, and headed toward the pond where she’d seen some willows. There was plenty of feverfew growing wild everywhere, so she picked that on the way. Sure enough, there was the pond with two, mature willows. The branches looked as if they were swaying to some unheard melody.

After cutting what she thought was a few days’ worth of bark from the trees, she headed back to camp. Dusk was setting in, so she didn’t think she’d be noticed if she took the shortest route back – through the open field. About halfway between the pond and the fence, she heard shouts.
“Anschlag! Anschlag!” Her heart stopped! She turned to see half a dozen Nazi soldiers coming her way. Her heart then raced as did her mind! Maybe if she stopped and spoke to them politely in her best German accent, maybe they’d let her go. However, she knew with her dark hair and eyes, they’d realize right away that she was Roma. She panicked. She was far enough ahead of them that she thought she could outrun them and lose them in the graveyard. She bolted. They immediately pursued, all of them screaming “Anschlag!” She was almost to the gate when suddenly, she came to a screeching halt when something – or someone – grabbed a fistful of her long, dark hair. She faltered and fell to the ground. She screamed as she saw the butt of the soldier’s gun coming at her face. There was brief searing pain at her temple, then everything went black. There was complete silence. Time seemed to stop.

There was a pinpoint of light. Slowly the light grew, as did sound. She was two. She was sitting on her mother’s lap. Her mother was so pretty with her long, blonde curls and bright, blue eyes. Her mother was smiling and playing pat-a-cake with her. Her mother tickled her tummy and then hugged her close and sang out, “My sweet Sophie!”

“Sophia.” Her mother’s face faded.

“So-PHI-a!” She wasn’t two. Where was she? The surface beneath her was hard. She opened her eyes. The light was blinding.

“Sophia, are you okay?” Sophia winced but saw Ivy’s face slowly come into view, furrowed with worry. “Sophia, you fainted!”

She realized she was on the conference room floor. Beyond Ivy she could see all of the committee members gathered around her. How embarrassing to be flat on her back on the floor in front of them all, especially the department head. She tried to sit up, but felt too weak to stand. Ivy handed her a glass of water. As Sophia drank, she realized her mouth was just as dry as it was after her dream the night before. She reached up to stifle a pain that shot through her temple, exactly where her birthmark was. At that moment, the butt of the gun flashed before her and the realization of what she’d just seen while unconscious flooded her mind. She looked Ivy in the eye and asked her to take her home. Ivy understood Sophia’s expression more than her words. Sophia found her feet with the help of her friend and they made their way to Ivy’s car.

Once in the comforts of Sophia’s living room and settled down with some hot tea, Sophia told Ivy the whole story – the rest of the dream. After a pause and sip of tea, Sophia added,

“…and one last thing, Ivy – you were my grandmother.”